I’ll Get You, You Faceless Mook!

You know what’s nuts ninety-nine times out of every single time? The little billboards that make their home on the front lawn of church lots, they’re nuts. You know what I’m talking about, probably. Those little signs in front of churches that say something like “CH__CH: What’s missing? U R” or, “If God is your co-pilot, switch seats.” These aforementioned instances are among the more tolerable examples that you’re likely to come across. There’s one church that I have to pass every now and again that always has the most preposterous messages on it, and its latest excursion into nonsense really made me go “What?! What?!” The message read “Live right, and you won’t be left.”

Other than the image of some little twit in a church office somewhere chuckling at the fact that he managed to use both the word “right” and the word “left” in one sentence, there was something else that irritated me about the message. It more or less, in the unlikely event that somebody would actually read the darn thing, says “Oh sure, kids. You just live as good as you possibly can and you won’t go to hell! Yay!”

Wha? If that’s the case, then I guess that Jesus character sure wasted His time coming to earth and DYING for us, didn’t He? Live right? What the… What? No one on EARTH is living right! You dip-knockers, it’s not about how good we can be on our own efforts, that doesn’t matter at all! One thing and one thing only will redeem us in the face of eternity. That thing is the purifying power of Christ’s mercy. Accept it. Love Him for it. Put that on your dang sign, dork!

studentweb.anderson.edu/~rrwolfgang
-Ryan