Sprained or Broken

Most of you know that I consider books to be horrible things, though I should mention that the obnoxiousness that they represent pales in comparison to that of the creatures that author them. Did you know that the John Eldredge has written more than just one book? When you're around certain folks, mentioning that you've read the Mild at Heart invariably garners the subsequent challenge to read some other literary gem of his creation. Not very sporting of me to blame folks who can't know that I'm blaming them for my own shortcomings, but hey, they knew what they were getting into when they befriended me on Orcut. What I'm trying to say is that somebody casually suggested that Captivating was a logical companion piece to the Reviled at Hart and I thought that sounded reasonable. Of course, if I had had a clearer idea of the sort of topics covered in Captivating, I probably wouldn't have asked to borrow it in the middle of one of our coeducational small group* social functions. Now they all know I read it and have assigned to me whatever caponizing baggage comes with that.

So I read it. Captivating at Heart that is. I need somebody smarter than me to explain what it's about, I think. However, I can tell you this much: you have to check the conventional interpretation of the word "beautiful" at the door before you can make heads or tails of this book. Without first doing that, it can seem like a very contradictory piece of literature. As a side note, if you find yourself able to successfully divest the traditionally understood definition of the word "beautiful" in order to wade through Captivating, don't feel obligated to readopt it when you're done.

All that notwithstanding, the book sucked. As I've asseverated to my friends and to physically attractive strangers, anything that I need to know about women I should be able to find out through beer commercials and my subscription to Teen Vogue.

All this talk about the literary accomplishments of the Eldredge reminds me that I need to consult my Rocky Road to Manliness checklist.

Drink whiskey:	Check
Drop the 'ly' from the ends of all adverbs:	Not as easy as it sounds
Wear more plaid:	Check
Bench 400 pounds:	Mind your own business
Drive a manual transmission pickup truck:	Check
Use the word "pugilism" to describe Monday night plans:	Check

Due to the observation of one of those items which shall remain unidentified, my fitness efforts for this week have been been replaced by mind-numbing games of "Sprained or Broken?" You know, I haven't played a serious game of "Sprained or Broken?" since high school and as a result, I'm feeling rather nostalgic.

Come back anytime,

-Ryan

*small group is a term used by church-goers to refer to the assembly of folks to whom they are theoretically more likely to confess being somewhere between perfect and irredeemable.