Labor Dabor Day 2013

Did you know that Canadians celebrate Labor Day in much the same way (and on much the same day) as we here in free country USA? How does I know? Why, only because I have just recently returned from a bit of a weekend holiday in Toronto, that's all.

As my four compatriots and I sped keenly along Ambassador Bridge toward our poutine-chewing enemies to north, we gazed with wide-eyed anticipation into the inky blackness that awaited us beyond the customs picket.Once the bridge had been fully traversed, we pulled our vehicle into the leftmost queue and began anxiously murmuring as to what inquisitions might be made of us by the border agent. Perhaps unfortunately for us, the three vehicles before us were quickly processed and sent on their way without giving the five of us sufficient time to collaborate on our story. That being the case, when we were finally confronted with the full fury of the hard-line questioning of the Royal Canadian Mounted Forces by order of her majesty the queen, none of us were prepared for what was set to unfold.

"So what are you boys doing?"

"Going to Toronto for the weekend."

"Yeah? What are you doing in Toronto?"

[Silence]

Me: "We're going to go see the Needle."

Officer: "What?

As in a poorly directed teen-spiration film from the late 80's or early 90's, all the other members of the our party slowly turned their gaze to me in a synchronized twist, eyes wide with disbelief, to register their own versions of the universal "what is your problem?" look.

Me: "The... Needle?"

[Silence]

Compatriot #1: "Uh, I think he means the CN Tower."

Officer: "Oh. OK then, see you later."

So the moral of the story is that not all free-standing discoidal observation towers are known colloquially as "needles." A moral that had apparently been well stressed to every human being on the planet except for me.

-Ryan