Plainfully Obvious

At this point I would hope that it would be plainfully obvious that I am more educated than I have ever been before, probably. I finished earning my Master's degree today. What a circus. Seriously.

Now to business: I feel like I have done a lousy job of sustaining a decent level of connectivity to everyone for the past three weeks (with the possible exception of people at BSU and my roommates). The reason for this is partly because of the sheer amount of work that the past month has brought, but mostly it has to do with trying to complete ICS 621.

ICS 621, or Routing Protocols and Information Movement, is a core class in the CICS curriculum which features the distinction of having a pass/fail in-lab final that is worth 20% of your total grade. As a core class, passing 621 is not optional, it is mandatory for earning the degree. As a graduate-level class, a C or better is required. Basically what it boils down to is that if you don't have a 93% or better going into the final, you have to pass the test otherwise you'll fall under the 73% minimum for the class. If you haven't guessed the punch-line by now, I was one of the rakish individuals who did not pass the final and who did not have a 93% going into it, thereby putting me in a strange place. I have spent the past ten weeks struggling to get out of this situation and earn the right to graduate on time. The past ten weeks were no cake walk for me ('cause I'm not real smart) and the last three of them were borderline preposterous.

Among all the other hoops through which I and my fellow GA with similar problems had to jump was to successfully complete the in-lab final. That's not surprising. In an effort to make things as dramatic as possible, my partner and I underwent some strange circumstances which resulted in taking the test today, the day before graduation. It was all very exciting, and given the amount of intraduodenal hydrochloric acid that my stomach generated today, I can probably expect some sort of latent intestinal disorder at some later stage in life.

The test itself, despite some trickery thrown in to keep us on our toes, couldn't have gone more smoothly. We actually completed the assignment a full ten minutes ahead of our time limit. When the professor was checking our work, pinging through from host 3 to router 2 or whatever he was doing, I was looking on nervously, to my discredit, expecting him to somehow manage to find some lingering flaw in our network. It never happened. He just scooted his seat back, exhaled deeply, and said, "You guys are done. Good job." High fives were then greedily exchanged and all the muscles in my body relaxed.

The professor, an avid lover of metaphors, then got up, looked at me and said, "You, Mr. Wolfgang, get to advance to Park Place, pass Go and collect $400." I believe that I smiled and said something highly appropriate. Then I thought about what he had just said. I get to advance to Park Place, pass Go, AND collect $400? All on one turn? Exactly what magical dice combination did I roll? First, if by advancing to Park Place, I pass Go, that means that I traveled at least 38 spaces, which is, by the way, extremely difficult to roll. Second, you get $200 for passing Go, not $400. For me to collect $400, I would have to somehow pass Go twice, which of course suggests rolling a minimum of 76 (78, actually), which is two times as difficult as rolling a 38. That's quite a turn of events, right there.

Anyway, the test was over and I went roaming about the Center, garnering hand shakes, shoulder pats, bear hugs, and even some gratuitous fondling from those in my path. Amidst all this, I'll try not to be a sucker. I know that a crap-ton of folks were praying for me. I know that made all the difference in the world. My most heartfelt of thank-you's goes out to you all. My official stance was that I would praise God no matter what the outcome of the test. All in all though, I think that I prefer this outcome.

After all the hoopla had died down some at the Center, my lab partner and I thought it appropriate to go drink some whiskey together. We met up with some friends who were headed to Olive Garden for dinner so we tagged along with them. In the face of all that had happened, I got my whiskey just the way I like it. On the house. Just ask anybody who knows me and they'll tell you that there are only two things in this world that I really enjoy: fast women and free whiskey*.

Anyway, back to the point. I have not been responsive and I have not been communicative to a great many people for the past month. I think that I mostly didn't want to talk to folks until I was sure that I had a good story to tell them. That's kind of why This Blog and You endured a two-week hiatus. Now that the burden of classes weighs less heavily upon me, I want to do a better job of being there for people and keeping up with people. Yep. That'd be swell.

Congratulations to Francois Steyn and all of South Africa on breaking the 100 year streak and regaining the title #1 in the world!

-Ryan

*That isn't true. Don't even worry about using this against me when I run for President.