Saint Augustine

Augustine is credited as being the "Father of Christian Philosophy." The study of philosophy, as it relates to the investigation of truths and principals for proper being, was a luxury afforded to him at an early age by some guy who sent him to Carthage for his education. What he did with this opportunity was, as far as I can tell, go absolutely ape, shacking up with concubines and street folk, behaving crazily, much to the despair of his mother, who was a devout Catholic, and the presumable indifference of his father, who was a devout pagan.

At the age of 32, in the midst of what he recounted as a "profound personal crisis," he made the decision to convert to Catholic Christianity. Thereupon he quit his career in Manicheistic rhetoric, relinquished any notions he may have held in regards to getting married, and resolved to devote himself entirely to serving God and the practice of priesthood. Of course as you may realize, that last tenet there meant he had to pick up a new hobby at which he wasn't extremely well-versed: celibacy.

Augustine ultimately recounted his journey towards and through Christianity in his spiritual journal, The Confessions of Saint Augustine. I had to read that book once. Amidst all of the far-out anecdotes on offer in Confessions, there was one episode in Augustine's life that was repeatedly brought up and rehashed. It was an account of having stolen fruit from a pear tree when he was a child.

The passion with which he laments this transgression made me want to point out, "Dude, you were engaged to an eleven-year old when you were thirty. That seems more worthy of your disdain." But further study (not much further study, just a little) served to illustrate that it was not the act of pear theft that so haunted Augustine, but rather the motive. Or the lack thereof.

As Augustine himself admitted, the tree was ravaged "not to eat the fruit ourselves, but simply to destroy it." In other words, the wrong doing was executed for no other reason than just for the evil of it. My first inclination was to rationalize: "You were just a kid; kids do dumb things like it's an Olympic event." Then it occurred to me that his logic was probably something like this: even when we are young and mostly uncorrupted by the world, we, when left to ourselves, are predisposed to do evil. We are drawn to disobedience like moths are to their own conflagration.

One of Augustine's better known apologetics was focused on the concept that people do not have the ability to choose to be good to such a degree as to merit salvation without divine aid. Though I have historically questioned the esteem with which Augustine's rhetoric is routinely held in modern theology, I do agree with that idea. I feel the truth of it everyday when I consider the beauty of disobedience and the attractiveness of selfishness. Fortunately, there is another truth that I feel everyday. And that truth is that divine aid is always close at hand, patiently waiting to be noticed and utilized.

Saint Augustine is the title of one of my favorite songs. It's by Band of Horses and it was my ringtone for two years (07-08).

-Ryan