Holding My Breath

It's been a quite a while since I was last given cause to reflect on the extent to which I suck at making first impressions. I've had people confide to me that the first time they met me they thought I was weird, stupid, arrogant, asleep, and worse. But I've been doing better! I'm tempted to say that it's been months and months since the last time I left an introduction thinking that it had been a shamble. Well, time to reset the ol' counter.

After dropping some sick beats in my current place of worship this afternoon, I was advised that there would be a birthday celebration for my friends' two year-old son and that I should attend. Attend I did and there were presents and pizzas and people I had not ever before met and it was fine. I saw a friend of mine over in the northwest corner of the room enjoying a mirthful conversation with perhaps the most beautiful man that I'd ever seen. Not one to be shy or courteous, I swaggered over to the pair of them and cheerfully interrupted with a folksy "How we doin'?" The stranger smiled dutifully and adjusted the weight of the baby he was holding so that he could extend to me a handshake. "Hi, I'm Jon."

"Good to know you, Jon, my name's Ryan."

Jon then held up the small human he had been supporting in the crook of his arm and said "And this is my daughter Luca." 

"Luca? How about that. Well, she's prettier than the only other Luca I've ever heard of. Luca Brasi from The Godfather. So, well done there."

Jon gave me the all-too-familiar "what is your problem" look and deftly slid away. I knew that I'd bungled the introduction and I felt pretty deflated. A few minutes later somebody sidled up next to me and whispered, "Have you met Jon McLaughlin yet?"

As it turned out, my friend's wife is the sister of Jon's wife, making the birthday boy Jon's nephew. Other things I learned today include the following: the Rangers actually did not win last night, Jon McLaughlin is a beautiful man and I'm not ashamed to say it.

-Ryan