Mammal Oreo Day

Good news everyone! Today is Memorial Day. Last Thursday was Whiskey Day. In just three months it’ll be the Labor Day. My life seems to be a hedonistic tornado of celebration.

I made some outrageous claims to the effect of writing down some of my reflections regarding the wedding I attended on the 22nd. In following through with my general philosophy of doing as little possible while still technically meeting the indicated obligations, let me just say this much: gravity. There, I said it. In fact, I may have said too much. Draw your own conclusions. Or buy me a cup of coffee and ask me about it. I’ll make it worth your while, and that’s a pormise!

I saw four foxes yesterday. Then I went for a walk and saw four actual foxes. I tried to catch them so that I could make some clever remark about Catch For Us the Foxes but it turns out that they are smarter and faster than I am. I have the same problem with women.

I had the great pleasure of listening to Gloria Gaither speak at our assembly last week. I find her to be wildly offensive.

Ever find yourself in a Hookah bar at 1:45 in the AM after mistaking it for some other establishment? Me too. It happened just last night as a matter of fact.

I think that I would like it if people were more impressed with me than they seem to be.

I got accepted the Anderson University School of Theology! Better still, my boss signed off on me taking classes this fall! I’ll tell you what would really make this songbird sing: if AU would decide to pay for my classes. Yessir, that’s what I want them to do for me. Right now.

I told you never to call me,

-Ryan