Is He White?

It's been a few months since I've prattled on about some marriage ceremony that I've witnessed so here's an update: I spent last Thursday-Sunday in the Chicago area in order to attend a wedding on Saturday. As many of you know, I strongly disapprove of marriage on account of it's a waste of stamps. That notwithstanding, I cede to have had a tolerable time at this particular soirée, though that's not because everybody I met wasn't a chump.

Perfect example: when you're in the bridal party, what is the cardinal rule regarding blocking? Minimize the amount of time your back is to the audience. Having been in ninety-two weddings prior to this one, I of course was already aware of this concept and I hold it to be self-evident but nevertheless the principal was mentioned in passing by the officiant. Wouldn't you know it, e'erbody but me did an almost complete about-face when the vows were being exchanged, which I imagine will result in me looking like an out-of-sorts buffoon in some of the photographs, which of course is unjust. 'Cause I knew what was up. Etc.

At the reception, many members of the bridal party were prevailed upon to deliver a toast/word of affirmation. When it was my turn, I did one of my hilarious Buddy Hackett impressions but before I was done I was told to please sit down and stop interrupting.

Before the dancin' got started the groom set his bride down and performed a rap song that he had written to mark the occasion. Yes, my buddy is a rapper. Which shouldn't generally mean much more than there is very little overlap between his and my iTunes collections. My own musical preferences aside, the kid can spit. Which apparently is an idiom meaning that he can rap well.

I am bad at golf.

-Ryan